#contacting my lawyer rn

[sillysymbol]

cannot believe the criminal clowns in this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8vpf-knZ-U Danny gonzalez video are ripping criminal clownery off u_u

WTF.....how could he

[ughgoaway]

75blr after the cologne and Amsterdam setlists

[solaireverie]

dr3 + mv33 | call it what you want

pairing: daniel ricciardo x max verstappen x f!reader

summary: [ social media au ] the internet will believe anything but the truth about you and your boyfriends

warnings: language, there's a few jokes about dan and y/n "adopting" max

faceclaim: gemma chan

author’s note: RAH RAH POLYSHIPPING LET'S GO PARTY PEOPLE. this au is so close to my heart. enjoy!

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, landonorris and 348,195 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, danielricciardo

yourusername the kenergy is strong 🏖

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user we can always count on y/n to confirm that the boys are still alive during break 😌

↪ yourusername at your service 🫡

landonorris max's shirt lol

↪ yourusername daniel convinced him that it's fashionable 🙄

↪ danielricciardo was i wrong?

↪ yourusername keep telling yourself that 😐

↪ maxverstappen1 you didn't like it?

↪ yourusername NO babe that's not what i meant. you looked great ❤️ just maybe think twice before listening to daniel's fashion advice in the future

↪ danielricciardo EXCUSE YOU 😒

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 258,742 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

daniel3.jpg respect the cuddle schedule, y/n ☹️

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yourusername screw the cuddle schedule i got here first

↪ yourusername it's max's fault for taking too long in the shower anyways

↪ maxverstappen1 lies. slander. my lawyers will be in contact

user what's the story behind the caption and the comments 👀

↪ maxverstappen1 y/n was being mean

↪ yourusername max was being a sore loser

↪ user i'm still confused 🧐

user why do they need a cuddle schedule in the first place???

↪ yourusername because max and daniel like to hog each other 😺

↪ user y/n having to fight for her bf's attention with his best friend 😮‍💨 i could never

user jimmy and sassy at the last picture: are we a joke to you 🤨

↪ yourusername nOOoOoOoo i love my adopted cat children very much i promise 😭

yourusername has added to their story

seen by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 893,127 others

249,836 likes

formulafashion max verstappen attends close friend y/n l/n's birthday party in a bespoke suit, which is a rare move for the typically casually dressed driver.

when asked about his outfit choice, max said that it was "a favor" and that "they're lucky i love them" 😳 could love be in the cards for red bull's superstar?

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user *they're* lucky i love *them* 👀

user when did max get have the time to date? he's always with daniel and y/n 😂

↪ user maybe it's one of their mutual friends? 🤷

user whoever it is i hope that y/n and daniel approve 🥹

↪ user who are we kidding, they've probably given max's partner the shovel talk already lol

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, yourbestfriend and 1,684,239 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, danielricciardo

yourusername they are the best thing that's ever been mine 🤍

view comments

user THE TWIST 😱😱😱

danielricciardo the triangle is the strongest shape 😌

↪ maxverstappen1 you are so cringe

↪ yourusername don't listen to him he's wearing your hoodie and blushing rn 🥹

user who saw this coming be honest

↪ landonorris me 🙋 btw @.danielricciardo you still owe me five gallons of milk for sneaking max and y/n into your driver's room

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii

[transtheology]

According to Matson, 39, his “disclosing,” as he describes it, is a moment years in the making. He offered his story as indicative of the often difficult path for trans Catholics, including those seeking life as a religious — a category that includes brothers and nuns.

“I am currently based in the Appalachian mountains of eastern Kentucky,” he wrote in an email to friends and supporters on Sunday. “I live in a hermitage at the top of a wooded hill, which I share with my German Shepherd rescue, Odie, and with the Blessed Sacrament, which was installed in my oratory shortly before Christmas.”

[...] Matson approached a canon lawyer to discuss his options and was told that only two aspects of Catholic life were categorically off the table: marriage and the priesthood. According to Matson, the canon lawyer recommended being upfront about his status as a transgender man in any vocational conversations with church leaders and mentioned the role of a diocesan hermit, which could prove less challenging than enlisting with an existing religious order.

[...] What followed was roughly a decade of searching and no small amount of rejection. Living in the United Kingdom while pursuing a master’s degree, and later a Ph.D. in theology, Matson entered a vocational discernment program and approached the Jesuit order to ask if he could join.

“They said, ‘No, we just don’t see how this would work for us,’ which was crushing, because that’s where I felt called,” Matson said.

[...] “I thought, well, if I can’t find a religious community to sponsor me, maybe what I need is a bishop,” Matson said.

A priest friend recommended different bishops to contact, beginning with Stowe, who was emerging as a leading voice among Catholics calling for a more tolerant approach to LGBTQ+ people. In 2020, Matson sent Stowe a letter, conveying his status as a transgender man, his vision for an artists’ community and his pull to religious life.

Stowe wrote back immediately, expressing his openness.

“It was an enormous relief,” Matson said. “I was in tears. I felt my hope revive.”

[...] Matson vented his frustrations to Stowe and his spiritual director, saying he wanted to speak out. But he said he was advised to first “build a foundation” in religious life for several years.

During that time, Matson had an experience that shook him. Attending a friend’s play in his religious habit, he was approached by a student who identified as trans and nonbinary. After asking if Matson was a monk, the student said they were raised Catholic, but that their parents had rejected their identity, and the student felt like they “don’t have a place in the church anymore.”

Matson responded by saying there were people in the church who would support the student, and Matson prayed with them, asking God to show the student how they are “wonderful the way you’ve made them.” The student, Matson said, grew emotional, thanking the hermit profusely and saying, “No one from the church has ever affirmed me for who I am.”

[...] As for ever leaving Catholicism itself, Matson bristled at the idea, calling the church “my family.” “I’m Catholic,” he said. “I became Catholic after I transitioned because of the Catholic understanding — the sacramental understanding — of the body, of creation, of the desirability of the visible unity of the church and primarily because of the Eucharist.”

At the very least, Matson said, he hopes going public will spark dialogue about his fellow transgender Catholics, a discussion he believes can enhance unity among the body of believers.

“You’ve got to deal with us, because God has called us into this church,” he said. “It’s not your church to kick us out of — this is God’s church, and God has called us and engrafted us into it.”

[leemarkies]

I FUCKING KILLED IT !!!!!!!!!

*me, a horrendous speaker and an even more horrible public speaker* what if i became an attorney

[blorbocedes]

do you do sebchal cos i really am craving some sebchal angst rn

Sebastian shows on to Charles' doorstep, no ring.

"Sorry for the no contact. If her lawyers caught even a whiff of an affair, I wouldn't have anything to my name. That's what you get for marrying for love with no prenup." Seb smiled ruefully. He's still got jokes, even if he looks like the shell of the man Charles once loved.

"Sebastian," Charles looks back at his house, his partner inside. "I can't."

"Bullshit," Seb shakes the shaggy hair off his eyes, stepping forward and grasping Charles's hand. There's a tan line where his ring used to be. "You begged me to leave her for years. And now I'm here. For us. You love me."

"I loved you," Charles tries to free his hand from Sebastian's grip. "I idolised you. I worshipped you."

He thinks of Sebastian, the golden haired, the boy in blue the man in red - whoever everyone wanted. That glorious, larger than life, dream of a man. "I want to remember you as you are in my memories. I can't be with you."

He loved the impossible, unattainable dream that was Sebastian. The one who could never leave his wife and children for him, no matter how he begged, how many tears he shed. The man in front of him might as well be a stranger wearing a once known, well-worn face.

"So that's it then?"

Charles closes the door, and waits for the tears to come. They don't.

[quimichi]

if you dont stop writing the yummiest things my lawyer will be contacting you 😡 stop writing absolute fire rn

how dare you! I feel threatened!! Only local solution is for me to continue!

[ind1c0lite]

Assorted headcanons about Phoenix and the seven year gap because it lives rent free in my head and I must yell

-I made another post about it but Edgeworth was the first to hear about State v Enigmar and Maya was the first to see Phoenix in person after he's disbarred (and the first to meet Trucy)

-Originally Phoenix and Trucys situation was just him fostering her at first, not an immediate adoption of her, largely cause Phoenix was hoping for her sake that Zak would eventually come back to AT LEAST see her, but after like- year 2 of Zak being gone, it turned into an actual adoption of her and she legally became Trucy Wright (although she had started going by that name a few months beforehand)

-The first year for Phoenix was- Well Rough To Say The Least, he ended up getting into a l o t of fights with both Maya and Edgeworth and started really pushing them away (never in front of Trucy but she could tell something was going on) largely cause in his mindset at the time he didn't really think they understood what was going on (which he very much realized was VERY stupid considering who he was talking to) and eventually it ended in both Maya and Edgeworth staging something of an intervention and being like "hey man your being a huge dick to both of us we're trying to help you through this but also whats going on in that head", they ended up finally actually Talking and settled things for once, things got better after that! slowly yet surely

-After the bar association trial, Phoenix was the first to approach Kristoph for believing him, and that where their friendship started (Kristoph was going to just do regular ol stalking instead but decided that being "friends" with him would probably be easier here so he went with it)

- personally my least favourite interpretation of the 7yg is where Phoenix knows that kristoph was the one who framed him all along, like idk it's just not very interesting to me, it's kinda boring ghjkhlj I absolutely where people are coming from with it though but idk hgjkhl it's lame to me

- Even though Phoenix was no clue whether or not he's going to become a lawyer again and pretty much had adapted to his new life, he always has that little thought in his mind that if he becomes one again, everything in his life will get better instantly, he'll be useful again (spoiler alert, it doesn't immediately fix his life! he has Depression)

-Around year 2 was when Edgeworth started bringing over Phoenix and Trucy to Europe (in my mind he spends about half the year in Europe and Half in America), while he DID give the reason that he needed Phoenixs help with a case or two (and that wasn't an outright lie) largely he just wanted to spend time with the two of them and didn't know how else to express it, by year 5 Phoenix caught on to what he was doing and found it VERY funny, after that their trips were much less law focused

-Phoenix met Athena in Europe in Year 3 and kept in contact with her until she arrived in America, and oh BOY can she tell he is very upset

-Eventually he does go to therapy like- after DD, at the insistence of Athena and Trucy (it takes him a bit cause he's one stubborn man but he gets there eventually!)

-He started growing out his hair and realized that he did actually like this hair longer so he kept it!

-While he does not regret making Apollo use the forged ace in court, he does hope that one day they'll be able to mend things since he knows it hurt Apollo a lot, he cares about Apollo but is giving Apollo the space he needs to make that choice on his own, he's very proud of both him and Athena

-Trucy gave him her second earring so they could match! He nearly sobbed when she did that hgjkhl He did have to get his ears pierced to wear it but dw he was very brave about it

ok thats all I can remember rn enjoy HJGKH

[terryboot]

Ya'll will never believe what happened again

teef hurtie

[manicpixiefelix]

A lot of stuff has happened worldbuilding-wise in these AUs, especially in the CEO/sole heir!Reader au that I've got like 15k+ of written in my drafts that I'm kinda giddy about because the kind of developments that have happened also fit into the background of the main fic for h,h,h and now I have all this shit I can play with regarding the reader's backstory and family that feels far more grounded and consistent, if that makes sense.

eg. It might not seem particularly relevant rn, but the reader's father is CEO of their family company in name only. He was instated there by his father-in-law (reader's maternal grandfather) when he was ill, overruling the board since he was owner and majority share holder, however when he passed, all his shares/ownership of the company actually went to the reader's maternal grandmother, who is the only person in the reader's family who they're still in contact with. She kept her son in law as CEO but he has very little to do with the company, most of its run by the board who ask him to occasionally weigh in on decisions if they need a tie breaker. Again, like I said, it's not relevant rn but it's just a little background factoid.

Also the reader has never had any contact with anyone from their father's side of the family as their father essentially gave them up for the reader's mother. This part genuinely isn't relevant, we will probably never have any contact with the reader's paternal extended family, but just as a fun fact, he comes from a family of incredibly highly trained and respected doctors, and he's the youngest of four brothers who all resent him for 1) choosing to study law, and 2) not even actually becoming a lawyer and giving it up to be a socialite once he was made CEO and married into an even wealthier family.

[jazzerdoc]

FIC REC “FRIDAY” - combo edition. I’ve been tagged (twice now) by @xthelastknownsurvivorx & once by @cha-melodius for this share. Thank you. I’m behind. My apologies. It’s finals week. It’s not Friday. I’m sorry. I’m traveling and I don’t know what day it is. Also that made me miss the Wordle & stop my winning streak at 128 and I’m kind of upset rn.

Tagging @welcometololaland for the master list.

So now it’s TWO THEMES - the fic that makes you laugh or smile whenever you think of it & the fic that lives in your mind rent free.

THEME ONE: funny/smile:

RWRB. This fic is outrageous in all the best ways: a college au, it’s hilarious, hot, memorable, 0-60. Henry is goaded into being filmed while trying to squash a watermelon between his THIGHS and Alex is out of his mind before/during/after. It’s FULL-CONTACT, written by one of my loves, @clottedcreamfudge All I can say, readers, is you’re welcome. 🍉

I would add here that @stutteringpeach ‘s WELL, WE’RE NOT HERE TO FUCK DUCKS aka fuck study (already tagged by @xthelastknownsurvivorx ) is also on my giggle-fest list. 🦆

THEME TWO: fics that live in my mind rent-free.

BUCKLE UP. This is really hard, because several do live in my mind ALL THE TIME. I’m going to add some favorites by my favorites, but I first have to say that @rmd-writes’ TO THE VICTOR THE SPOILS & its prequel, WHAT, LIKE IT’S HARD? are definitely on this list but @cha-melodius already tagged it. They are genius and I do love me a good lawyer au. Below are all RWRB but one, but it’s RWRB-infused, so.

@clottedcreamfudge I could say A SPORTING CHANCE, which you know I adore, but I’m going to say NEVER DID RUN SMOOTH, because I’m obsessed with how the love story plays out in this reality dating show romp & the title is a line from my favorite Shakespeare play, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM. 🌴

YOUNG ROYALS (w/RWRB crossover) fic by my sweet love @the-amber-fox This prince/rock star/Sweden/US epic au is lovely and fun and just a great way to showcase Wilmon’s love story. PERFECT CRIMES OF THE HEART. 👑

My IG bestie @cinnamoncoffees has written YR & RWRB fics (some FOR me & others I’ve helped with), but this one is sooo good. I think it’s her best. It’s a vampire au and I don’t particularly like vampires necessarily but it is soooo good. Did I mention how good it is? 😋 A SLIGHTLY HYSTERICAL VAMPIRE FANTASY MOMENT. 🧛🏼‍♂️

RWRB fic: you may know my lovey @cheesecurdsgravyandfries as the writer of extremely hot, explicit RWRB & SCHITTS CREEK fics, but did you also know she is hilarious and sweet? I don’t completely know why, but I’ll never forget this adorable and clever stripper au told from Henry’s dog’s perspective. THE GOODEST BOY, HIS HENRY, AND THE OTHER GUY. 🥹 (Fun fact: this is the only G rated fic in my list.) 😏

RWRB+: I’ve got lots more RWRB favorites, but this list of fics-that-live-rent-free-in-my-mind would be incomplete without @everwitch-magiks’ HASHTAG SOULMATES. This beauty is a fan fic must-read. It combines the best of rwrb’s contemporary lgbtq fiction and all the romance tropes. Genius. 🪐

Tagging @cheesecurdsgravyandfries @the-amber-fox @cinnamoncoffees @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @stutteringpeach @rmd-writes ONLY IF YOU WANT TO. And anyone else. This was fun but it took a while. Also, please tag @welcometololaland, who’s evidently keeping a list.

[foster-the-moths]

fuck it tmc headcannons (aka me projecting SO HARD). only cesar and jonah (and a bit of adam) for rn i have more for the others but ive been thinking abt these guys recently.

cesar (&mark):

-i see a lot of headcannons like 'mark is introverted and cesar is extroverted' and i raise to you: cesar is very charismatic and everyone wants to talk to him but he does NOT like social situations At All. everyone just decided he was cool and interesting and they wanted to hang out with him and he has no clue whats going on.

-usually his voice is very flat and monotone. if mark didn't question the vol 1 call then i think thats just how cesar talks most of the time.

-mark and cesar were the most dumbass friends in existence the minute they make eye contact all common sense is Gone. they would go to the gas station, chug a bunch of sodas and throw rocks at the cans. one time mark decided it would be a great idea to bring his deagle and they got in SO much trouble. the cops were called mark legitimately thought his life was over it was not good night for either of them.

-cesar would like reptiles he would catch a snake in a field and try to show mark and mark would scream at him. one time he picks up a rattlesnake bc he thought it was a regular snake and long story short mark has to drive him to the er

-i think he also knows how to cook, but hes REALLY good at baking its one of his hobbies :]

jonah:

-burnt out gifted kid that got really hyped up as being a genius when he was young and got all these expectations put on him (ESPECIALLY since his dad is a lawyer) so when he didnt meet those expectations he crashed and burned

-hes really smart but also very 'slow' at things so he just. embraced the 'dumb' persona bc its less pressure to fail if you're already expected to do so (i am projecting so hard dont look at me okay)

-he also started to do really badly in school around highschool and once his peers noticed he basically became an outcast. adam is like. his one real friend. (which just makes vol 2/4 even more fucked up)

-i think he likes rap but also the most ridiculous pop songs. he will NOT play anything other than lady gaga or songs abt drugs and murder theres no inbetween.

-never learned how to cook never intends to he eats the most atrocious 'meals' he can conjure. i am talking instant ramen with crushed up flaming hot cheetos and melted string cheese like ACTUALLY revolting. adam is even worse he puts an unpeeled banana between two slices of bread and chows down.

adam:

-very volatile emotions. if something sets him off he does not know how to regulate his emotions and gets a bit wacky, silly if you will (he's gotten multiple detentions for getting into fights)

-other than that the only time he feels really strong emotions is when he's hunting alternates, its like an adrenaline rush for him.

i'll post more later but this is whats been rattling around in my head for weeks and months.

[jackies-ear]

.

So sometimes I’ll go and google the guy that killed Sarah just to like make sure he’s still in prison and pray for his death. he’s trying to appeal his conviction rn.

But I just found an article from January abt her parents suing him and the 3 companies he was working with. Which I knew they were doing, at some point, bc mom said she was gonna give the lawyers my info. I wasn’t contacted. But the trial is set for August, and a full jury this time. And her mom hasn’t brought this up w me for a bit, and I don’t want to like call and confront her abt it, but I need to know more and if they’re gonna be there, if I can be there too.

So how to I reach out to her mom to get more info abt this without being like ‘yea I googled him and found this and I didn’t know it was already happening??? wtf???’

Work was willing to give me the time off for the first trial 2 yrs ago, I can get the time off again, it’s just in the first month of school so I’d need to know like now

[safyresky]

Bernack! Fusion Lawyer

A late night treat for u all that I promised AGES ago, please enjoy the most unhinged instalment of Fusion AU: Bernack (have yet to think of a decent name for them u just cannot mix Jack/Bernard's names it just does not work. Jernard? BACK?!?!?!? BARACK? OBAMA?!?!?!?!!?!?!?), Fusion Lawyer.

I have barely edited these notes. I have only made them legible (3am Dani has bad spelling which is funny bc it's already atrocious with how fast I type) and I am NOT joking about the time this was originally written at:

Please note that these are like BARE BONES ideas. LORD KNOWS (now that I have reread it) if this is still the situation I'd have fucking bernACK appear in, but A TREAT FOR U ALL ANYWAY. I HOPE.

AHEM. Let's begin.

It starts with a dare to Jacqueline, with love, ur horrible friend Charlie

they're chatting about some odd and strange magical things, and Charlie cracks a joke about Leprechauns and gold

to which Jacqueline replies "dude. that's legit. And you know gnomes? garden gnomes? yeah they're accurate to size you see in stores and they constantly throw hands with the leprechauns about who owns the gold

Charlie is like. ur fucking me

Jacqueline's like I am NOT! I will even bring you over and SHOW U

Charlie's like BET!

And Jacqueline goes AIGHT CHOOSE A DAY

Anyway Charlie ends up being unavailable but he has activated his pal's trap card and Jacqueline, of course, hunts down Elle

"hey dude," she says, once she finds Elle. "wanna go stake out some gnomes and leprechauns so I can win a bet against Charlie?"

And Elle is like "It's March. OF FUCKING COURSE I DO. Nothing's happening round these parts rn let's fucking GO BESTIE

So off they fuck!

And after a very strange series of events, Elline is around, and she is fucking RUNNING from the leprechaun authorities bc they think she is stealing the gold

She fails and is captured by them

They think she is a gnome spy

Elline is like "I'm really not? I'm a sprelf, and I'm just tryin to prove a point to my horrible friend Charlie who constantly makes silly challenge bets with me and they end up like this

which is funny bc we're always like "wow our legends need to stop having silly contests that end with trouble"

"I'm half hypocrite on the sprite side"

ANYWAY

Elline is like really I'm not a spy. not a gnome spy. i swear. i dont even want the gold. i get paid v well and have so much pirate treasure it's fine honest

and the leprechauns are like THEN WHY ARE YA COMING OVER FROM THE GNOME FRONTIER?!@?!?!

GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT, they say, and LOCK ELLINE UP IN THE JAIL. TM.

Elline is like.

This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation dot jpeg

MEANWHILE, AT THE POLE...

Charlie runs into B, who's like, hey, have you seen Elle?

And Charlie's like maybe! I think she's out with Jacqueline. See, Jacquie and I were gonna do a thing, but I had another thing, but I finished the thing early and was going to call Jacqueline out on the gnome and leprechaun thing, but she's not around at all

and nor is Elle! So I'm guessing she took Elle with her instead!

Bernard, knowing full well how those two magibeans be: oh FUCK

Prior to this, Charlie ran into Jack who was like hey junior. you seen Jacqueline around

and he said the same thing to Jack!

Jack, also knowing full well how those two magibeans be: OH FUCK

are they talking about elle/jacquie or the gnomes/leprachauns? we'll never know (it's the latter but this works for the former too I am realizing)

SO. JACK AND BERNARD KNOW ALL ABOUT THE NONSENSE AND ARE LIKE AH SHIT

BOTH OF THEM CONTACT ELLINE (u know. telepathy/magical legend/legate link) LIKE "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO CANVAS THE GNOMES AND LEPRECHAUNS ????

And Elline is like I HAD A POINT TO PROVE

ANYWAY. I'M IN JAIL.

CAN YOU COME GET ME?

And so Jack and B go ALRIGHT GUESS WE'RE GOING TO BAIL OUR LOVED ONES OUT OF LEPRECHAUN JAIL

so off they fuck and go to post bail and the leprechauns go oh no no NO. THEY are getting a TRIAL. We can't let the gnomes think we don't know. They need to know. They need to know we know their TRICKS.

Jack and B are like OKAY FINE BUT WE DEMAND TO BE THERE

And the front desk leprechaun goes "oh NO you do NOT. closed court, only the plaintiff, defendant, lawyers, etc. no visitors. unless ur their lawyer which i KNOW ur not. so BYE."

Jack and B are FUMING

B: I'm head fucking ELF I know enough about magibean law to be a LAWYER.

Jack: I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL

B: you did-you-what? why?!

Jack: long story. got bored, needed to make the law work for me, went to law school.

so anyway. some kinda crazy discussion happens for sure that ends in ELLINE NEEDS A LAWYER

ELLINE. THE FUSION. NEEDS A LAWYER

WE BOTH HAVE THE KNOW HOW.

IF WE FUSED WE COULD LAWYER THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GUYS AND GRAB ELLINE

They're like this is batshit insane. absolutely crazy

but you know, so is leprechaun court, and gnome court???? gods forbid

they have a brief discussion about concerns given that when jack fused with elle, they had to get separated by force courtesy of berline, v scaring and scarring, very jarring, do NOT want a repeat of that

but in the end they can put aside their differences/worries/concerns bc their loved ones are in TROUBLE.

so they do it. they fucking fuse.

Enter:

BERNACK! FUSION LAWYER

you know slannen the elf from ella enchanted? yeah. That's basically bernack

he appears, he looks SO normal. It's actually surprising.

he has a briefcase

he knows a LOT about LAWYER STUFF

he is READY TO KICK ASS IN THIS COURTROOM AND MARCHES THROUGH THE DOORS

they are the ULTIMATE lawyer

they have the boston accent

they shove over some leprechauns like IM WALKIN HERE

they got that DANK HETEROCHROMIA IN THE EYEBALLS!

they go BACK to the front desk, put their card down (which somehow they have an official business card???)

"I'm here to represent elline. it's non negotioable"

and BARGES into the courtroom

Elline is like. WHAT AM I SEEING. WHAT IS THIS

And Bernack is like this is me slash us getting your asses out of LEPRECHAUN jail. this was so stupid. why did you do this.

I HAD A POINT TO PROVE

Okay shut up, don't say ANYTHING. let me do the talking

Elline is like. I am concerned about this but also, intrigued

She like. does the thing where u zip ur lips and throw away the key

Bernack is like good choice. Also, keep an eye on me, if this goes south we'll need to pull a jackington

Elline (unzips lips) how would u like your death

Bernack: the less memes the better

Elline, the meme loving fuck: i make no promises (rezips lips, folds hands, sits and smiles)

Elline is basically ready to stab That Bitch at any given moment, but also, living for the chaos that is about to ensue

and chaos DOES ensue

the trial is stupid. it's rigged. bernack has to run loop holes around loop holes around loop holes. That's okay tho that's his specialty, loopholes and clauses

there is an ace attorney reference. multiple maybe even

this is SPARTA reference that ends with Elline kicking someone

U WANT THE TRUTH U CAN;T HANDLE THE TRUTH moment

but ANYWAY the trial is beyond frustrating because the leprechauns are STUBBORN and WANT to make a big move like showing the gnomes their spy apprehended, and so finally bernack is like I am AT my LIMIT and snaps their fingers or something and suddenly, fire!!

YEAH. BERNACK HAS FIRE POWER.

Of course, Bernack immediately thinks ARSON?????

He's perturbed but also. Intrigued. And also, burning the courtroom sounds great at this point it's been HOURS

And Elline thinks back, thrice as loud, ARSON! BURN IT DOWN! DO IT! LET'S BUST OUR ASSES OUT OF HERE. AHHHH

You'll never guess what they do

FIRE. That's what

And they trash the courthouse and book it

They win the case by default

Bernack's like TOLD YA I'D GET YOU OUT OF THERE as something explodes

Elline's like DON'T LOOK BACK AT THE EXPLOSION

Bernack's like COOL GUYS DONT LOOK BACK AT EXPLOSIONS as he pulls out shades and rushes away without looking behind him

I don't THINK they'd need to be forced apart. Pretty sure Jack and Bernard would be like "I've had enough of this guy" and just like. poof back to themselves

But not before giving Elline a piece of their mind

ELLINE YOU FUCKED UP ALL THE SHIT

SO DID YOU

BUT IT WAS AWESOME

YEAH IT WAS!

they high five and get iced cream or something.

idk man.

I feel like these are the most chaotic fusions that could exist. Chaotic in positive???? ways?????

BUT YEAH

Anyway back at the NP Elline kicks down the door to Charlie's room like GOT UR PROOF BUCKO, AND WE GOT TO DESTROY A COURTHOUSE!

And Charlie's like ): NOT because he was proven wrong but bc he did not get to destroy things with them ):

and that's the story of BERNACK! FUSION LAWYER!

[coldcanadianwinters]

Bad Dog Bites and Original Bad Dog Bites!

oooooo baby okay okay SO STRAP IN FOR A LONG EXPLANATION HAHA I'll put it under a read-more bc I KINDA WENT BUCKWILD WITH THIS EXPLANATION I'M SORRY JUBES

:') I'M JUST EXCITED

To preface, I actually lied when I replied to your post first - in fact SIX of those fics are crossovers between the two Personas that I've played (4 and 5) lmfao and that includes both versions of BDB :)

Originally, the fic was supposed to take place immediately after Royal, and Akechi's alive and contacted by Sae bc my theory is that it was her officers that was escorting him back to somewhere when you catch a glimpse of him at the very end of the game through the train window. The idea was that, now that she's transitioning to being a defense lawyer, Sae's noticing a lot more of an uptick in corruption through the government, and especially noticing shit to do with the shadow world, whether that be Metaverse or otherwise. So she's bringing in the guy who's in hiding and who she can like use some leverage over (seeing as the Phantom Thieves are supposed to be disbanded now and they're going their separate ways so she can't just employ them for this) and who also has Persona powers, and ask him to help her deal with this. But she also knows that the shadow world is dangerous to deal with on its own... and I know that the government has records of Naoto having Persona powers (thank you beginning of P4 Arena lmfao - I haven't finished watching the playthrough that I found of that one tho bc I realised that P4A has so many spoilers for P3 and I don't want that yet soooo I'll just have to wait until after I play P3 to finish that vid haha), so to help him, she calls in the first Detective Prince.

The goofs and gaffs were gonna come from the fact that, if they met in canon (PQ2 doesn't count in this situation bc I haven't played it yet LMAO), they would immediately hate each other hsgfh and then they'd slowly grow to trust each other in combat, even if they do absolutely hate each other, and it would come to a head when they get surrounded, probably in the TV World bc they're gonna be bouncing back and forth between each other's worlds (and the P3 shadow world - Tartarus? - but I first gotta play that game first *squeezes my hands into fists* so) and are forced to perform a Showtime where, since both of them and their Personas can learn Megidolaon, they basically do this little theatrical show of 'hey I can do things better than you watch!' and then annihilate the surroundings and the shadows by using that move at once together. And then after that they would have to deal with the fact that hey, the other one actually is willing to work with me and keep the both of us from getting killed... huh....

I thought it was a cool idea, though like the majority of the plot is wholly obscured to me bc I didn't really have an end goal besides making Akechi eventually go back to Leblanc and see the P5 protag again, though maybe it could be something similar to P5 where they take down a major political figure? or like the lead scientist trying to use the shadows for their own evil will or something, and I also didn't have most of the middle stuff ready, just like key scenes that I'd dreamt up and stuff haha

But then the second version, which is the one just titled Bad Dog Bites now, has some different stuff going on - this time, it's 4 years after the end of P5, so Akechi's been in hiding for a while after having survived back then, and he's probably doing something but he's really secretive and on the dl about it. He doesn't want to be found by the authorities so he changes address and phone number constantly, I've written him relatively ooc rn but I'm working on fixing that lmfao, he's got some shit to deal with and he definitely doesn't want to be found by the former Phantom Thieves.

The idea is the fic opens up in Akechi's current apartment, and he's doing something at his desk that the audience isn't allowed to fully know about yet, when someone knocks on his door. He's obviously suspicious, and when he goes to peek through his peep hole and then after crack the door with the chain in, Naoto is there, and when he lets the original DP in, they explain to him (after some like banter, immediate hate bc they would hate each other hghs, and some coaxing of information) that they've been hired to help hunt him down (and though they don't say by who, Naoto was def hired by the P5 protag, but like 3-ish years ago, so instead of telling him that, Naoto tells him they were hired recently by Sae, bc that'll also technically be true).

Actually, I might add in, too, that the TV World fog was seeping into Akechi's apartment and that helped Naoto hunt him down? I think that could be interesting... and Akechi doesn't notice bc it's been a slow build, but something across Japan has been causing the walls of the TV World to thin (and maybe also the Metaverse and Tartarus bounds) and let them seep into the real world, which of course is a problem. This'll tie well into my plan for this fic too - the pair of Detective Princes get contracted to dive into the various shadow worlds at random by government agents so that scientists can test the reactions of Shadows and stuff, etc etc basically they gotta play along until they can target the head of this evil government snake organization and take it down together swiftly and effectively, giving info back to Sae for safekeeping and occasionally bumping into other major characters from the games. And at the end, they find where all three of these shadow worlds are converged and have to fight the big bad boss down there to separate Tartarus, the TV World, and the Metaverse again and also separate all three from the real world once more.

There'll be changing perspectives between Akechi's pov and Naoto's pov, changing probably either chapter to chapter or every other chapter, depending on the vibes haha, and in the end, when they do take down the big bad (both of the shadow worlds and the head organizer of this whole thing who's trying to control the shadow worlds), or maybe after, then Akechi is forced to realise that hey actually living in isolation like he had been sucks shit and makes plans to meet up with the p5 protag. Maybe he even does meet up with him, at the end of the fic, I haven't decided yet haha

I'll still be keeping the Showtime idea that I had bc ngl that scene drove a lot of my want to write this fic in the first place, though I still gotta finagle a way of making it written out as cool as it was in my head without being either over- or under-explained and flashy, idk haha, but beyond that and Naoto and Akechi forced to work together their plots were gonna be actually really different. Plus, I figured I could maybe do more with their characters, because for Akechi it's 4 years later so he's like 20-21, but for Naoto, it's been a Hot Minute since they've had to go about doing shadow world stuff I think (though maybe I'm wrong and they've been doing shadow world stuff this whole time! idk), so they're now 24-25 and Working Through It haha

Anyways! That's the whole idea 🫠 I know this was a really long reply but I just,,, I've been thinking about this fic a whole bunch haha

There's still some things I gotta tweak out still, and I gotta actually write the damned thing too, but! There ya go haha

[izvmimi]

hi Mimi,

I felt I should let you know that my lawyer will be contacting yours in the near future to discuss the damages caused by your Mineta fic. talks of reparations and possible settlements will commence in the coming weeks.

any further contact will be exclusively through our lawyers from this point onwards.

best wishes, Mimi.

this us rn lmaoooooo